A few cool things I could not pass up today
Next Up is Riswan from Incoherent Ramblings standing on a mountain she climbed in Kosovo they call Big Duke
Froggy Ruminations pays tribute to a fallen Seal in a moving post. Please read the amazing show of support by LA Finest.
"The male giant squid has to use a puny 15-gram brain to coordinate 150 kilograms of weight, 10 metres of length and a 1.5-metre-long penis," he says. "He physically plunges this penis into the female's arms, which are rather unfortunately right next to her beak. Because he is coordinating so much with so little, I think occasionally bits get chewed off when they inadvertently get too close to the beak."
Ok, I learned something today. The web is a wonderful place ain't it?
The rest is here if you feel the need to read the rest
Dude where is your Dell? Remember that stupid stoner kid that had a great gig until he decided that he should follow Ricky Williams and make Ganja his life?
Well I think I talked to the little fucker today........and yesterday as well. I think Steven works for Gateway now. I bought a Gateway last summer with a flat screen monitor.
A few days ago an anomaly appeared on the bottom of the screen, a small black sliver of something. It looked like that joyful little reminder of smashing one's thumb with a hammer.
No Biggie, I can deal with that...........Then like a Metastatic Renal Cell Carcinoma it started growing. At first like a Bad Moon rising it kept getting bigger. Like that zit on your friends chin you cannot help but staring at.
So I decided to call in the calvary. I called Best Buy and did the ten number dance to have the priviledge to talk to a Homo Sapien. After ten minutes of what appeared to be the first technical/warranty/WTF question the store ever received......I was told "I am sorry you need to contact Gateway it is out of our jurisdiction." Huh? I bought the Gotdamn thing from you less than a year ago!
"Well Mr Dinosaur if you read the legalease Mumbo Jumbo bloviopontificoeltorocaca on your receipt it clearly states after thirty days you are fucked" Oh, thanks I said.
Ok I will just go straight to the top! I grabbed a cold one and delved into Gateway's website. Wait just a cottonpicking minute, this looks like the Da Vinci Code where the hell is the "It's broke and needs to be fixed link?" After some skillfull navigation I found the page where you fill in all the info so they can tell you what you already know.
Man time is running out! The thing on my screen is starting to look like the creepy growth on Aaron Neville's forehead! I need to talk to someone fast.
Then it hit me the first Gateway oxymoronic bullshit corporate whizkid-guy-with-a-tie brilliance.......the Remote Assistant auto something or another. ten minutes later I got Gwen GW PR087. Thirty five minutes later she refused to go further until I did a System reboot with BIOS diagnostics and check for cracks in my dilithium crystals........Shit still nowhere. But Wait! here is my "I am up the creek with no paddle Id code number. Plug that badboy in and we will continue!
All systems go and the Half dollar sized solar eclipse on my screen with the actual corona is still growing. I find the page again after my Harrison Ford/Indiana Jones %$#*ing sandbag manouvre and start fresh.
They never heard of me. They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over hoping for a different outcome. After entering my ID code ten times it still won't work! I fill out the mortgage request papers again and ten minutes later I get Mitch GW PR093. "Hello Mr. Dinosaur how can I help you?" I am in Bill Murray's Groundhog Day as we jump through the same hoops.
I am not a computer geek, nor did I ride the short bus to school either. I have pounded plenty of square pegs into round computer holes so I am a veteran of the PC world. I started with an Apple 64K, IBM 8088, 286AT, 486 and so on.......I know the son of a bitches inside and out and have a fairly good grasp of computer lexicon.
Why is it then when talking to Gwen GW PR087 and Mitch GW PR093 I actually used the term "Monkeys Copulating With Footballs!" with both of them? Mitch interrogated me for another half and hour and hit me with ultimate customer service torture line........."Mr. Dinosaur it appears you will have to check back tomorrow after we update our records........here is your Id code" ARGGHHHHHHHH!
Mitch buddy don't leave me! When can I call you again? I NEED you! "Check back in twentyfour hours.........click"
I waited until the appointed time and cruised into the twilight zone again. "Hi this is Mike GW PR094, how can I help you?" NOOOOOOOOOO! Mike here is my ID code and off we go. Thirty minutes later Mike GW PR094, you know that twisted sadistic bastard that sits next to Mitch PR093 says "You need to call 1-408-967-8557 and ask for customer assistance."
Honey, I am going to Bestbuy and return this monitor. Somebody there is going to get a RPD1705 Flat screen monitor suppository! "Why not just call the number?" Mrs. Dinosaur exclaims diplomatically.
Do I really need an exercise in futility? More self-induced bitch slapping? WHAT is the point? Fine, fine fine fine fine. I call them and five minutes later a new monitor is on the way.
Have a nice day
GIF from Sondra K
*Not really GWB
The pics are of a Dixie Arms 1853 P53 3 band Enfield I built several years ago from a kit. All the brass work and woodwork are mine. A Civil war rifle that was imported from England by the Confederacy but used by both sides. Fifty three inches long and weighing in at a hefty nine pounds, I imagine it would get heavy on a long days march. .577 calibre it would shoot most muzzle loads used by both sides.
HERE is a good site of one in action. HERE is a real one.
This is a Minie ball that I cast for the Enfield. Named after the French inventor, not for it size , these weigh in at a whopping 560 grains. That would hurt if I threw it at you! What these rifles lacked in muzzle velocity they made up in the physical mass of the projectile.
Great pictures from Boots In Baghdad
Wit Nit has the Twenty Five Word Challenge going with a little eastern flavor
Hispanic Pundit makes the case for CAFTA
Beth has the skinny on the heat Michael Graham has taken for......heaven forbid making an Islam/Terrorism analogy
NO MORE PICTURES OF HELEN THOMAS PLEASE!
The proverbial illegal immigration Feces is not just hitting the White Folk
The Skinny on this Badboy
I have an idea that some of my brilliant Blogger friends can help me with.
On the right sidebar is the famous John Kerry sign the 180 counting code.
I would like to have a Fidel Castro Death Watch code. You know something like:
Dictator Fidel Castro seized power in Cuba 44 years and 209 days ago, contrary to the laws of nature and divine intervention the Machiavellian Madman JUST WON'T DIE! Fidel when will you take a dirtnap?
Or something like that........Whadda Think?
28 July 2005
The IRA has said it will stand down all units from 4pm today. A statement said it would put an end to 'armed struggle' and devote efforts towards peaceful solutions.
It instructed all members to "assist the development of purely political and democratic programmes through exclusively peaceful means". The statement also invites a representative from the Protestant and Catholic churches to witness the disarmament.
Interesting development that runs contrary to representatives of the "Religion Of Peace" and their plans for world peace.
I sure hope you did not make this "A" list.*
*Asshole, quite a few Hollywood libs on this one.
This is a bumper sticker on the back of American Dinosaur's capitalist tool (work truck). I was going to be a good sport and take it off after the election, but just couldn't find the time. It has been on there for several years and is tattered and faded. Someone tried to tear it off but it prevailed. After hearing that Ms. Fonda will resume her "Hate America Hate The Troops Tour", I have decided it will remain. I hope she decides to come to Tucson so I can pay her a visit.More on Hanoi Jane
Flopping Aces has the skinny on a brewing scandal involving Franken and Co. All I can say is Ha!
Bud Truck Roll Over..............Bummer
" I wanna be a Loser too! "
Brother of Johnny Four Months wants to know what it feels like to lose an election
Man, what the hell did their parents look like? geez
Hello from the new home of American Dinosaur. Please change the URL ,old friends and new. Thanks to the Munuvians for a vote of confidence. I am excited about the new blog site. More so than others but it is a step in the right direction.
Good news of the Boy Scouts vs.the ACLU yesterday, as the Senate voted 98-0 against prohibiting the use of military installations for BSA use. More on that HERE Sanity prevails and even the King of Bloviation Bill O'rielly lambasted the ACLU tonight.
Now three months of trying to figure out all the nuances and tweaking and we should be ready to rumble!
All American Dinosaur site link test
This entry is to test the wordwrap of the center column. I am really hoping that I don't have to tweak anything major in order to get this to work appropriately. Let's just say the movers have shown up and are unpacking the boxes.
That van left a few days ago...................
Soon Master Soon.............I just have to find a place to put all this stuff.
(This is why I love blogging, I can entertain myself)
Now all we have to do is move in all the furniture!