August 29, 2005

Da Rules

US Marine Corps Rules:
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.

Navy SEALS Rules:

1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust speedo swimwear frequently.
4. Check hair in mirror.

US Army Rangers Rules:

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

US Army Rules:

1. Select a new color of beret to wear.
2. Sew combat patch on right shoulder.
3. Change the color of beret you decide to wear.

US Air Force Rules:

1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on HBO.
4. Ask "what is a gunfight?"
5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" PowerPoint presentation.
6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 1345 tee-time.

US Navy Rules:

1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Watch porn.
4. Deploy the Marines

All in good fun guys........thanks Jim

Posted by BillyBudd at August 29, 2005 06:27 PM | TrackBack

Perfectly hilarious! Didn't someone say all good humor has a basis in truth?

Posted by: WitNit at August 29, 2005 08:34 PM

Bloggin from Taiwan? How is Typhoon Talim doing?

Hang on!

Posted by: Billy Budd at August 29, 2005 08:53 PM


Posted by: Scott B at August 30, 2005 02:31 AM

Got my cocktail! Cheers!

Posted by: Jay at August 30, 2005 06:22 AM

reminds me of the old one...

"Secure a building"

1. Marines: Storm the building shooting every moving target, and sweep the structure for residual targets.

2. Army: Form a perimeter around the building and allow no one to pass in or out without proper authorization.

3. Navy: Set appropriate alarms and lock the doors on your way out.

4. Air Force: Sign a five year lease with option to renew for five more.

Posted by: Circa Bellum at August 30, 2005 06:53 AM

Two days ago I got pulled over by the Highway Patrol for driving in the HOV lane without a passanger. The officer walked up and I give him all my info and he asked me why I was driving in the HOV lane. I gave the usual lame excuses (i.e. "I just wasn't thinking").

Then he went back to his motorcycle and got his pad and and I can see in my mirror that he starts writing. He then walks back to me and asks me to step out of my truck. "Oh crap! What did I do now," went through my head.

I get out and he looks at me and says, "I'm bored. I need someone to talk to." I actually started laughing.

He then tells me that he's letting me off with a warning and informs me that a ticket would have been $360 (good lord that's a lot of money). So we start BS-ing and he asked me about school and what I was going to do after I got my degree. I told him I was thinking of going into the military.

He asked, "What branch?"

I said, "Probably Army."

He then gave me a dirty look and said, "Have some self respect man."

"What?," I asked.

"Well... at least it's not the Navy or the Air Force."

"Oh, your a Marine huh?"


Posted by: Desert Tusk at September 1, 2005 10:30 AM

Matt, When are you going to start bloggin again? We miss ya!

Posted by: Billy Budd at September 1, 2005 06:56 PM
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