American Dinosaur

Screw You Sunday

1.
The Moral of the Story:

I happened to pass a house with a little red light burning in front, in an alley way in back of the London Hilton, so I stepped inside to see what may be on offer. There was nothing in sight and nothing there but an empty bare hallway, with two doors reading, "Over 35" and "Under 35." I decided to be truthful and entered the door that said, "Over 35."and found myself in another empty hallway, this one with two doors that read, "Over 8 inches" and "Under 8 inches." Truthful again, I went through the "Under 8 inches" door and found myself in another empty hall, with two more doors reading, "Once a night" and "Over 4 times a night." Still wanting to be truthful, I entered the door marked "Once a night" and found myself back out on the street.

The moral of this story is: "Always tell the truth and you'll never get screwed."

2.
Initiation Fee

Bob knocked on the door of the house where a cab driver had told him he could be sexually accommodated. An eye-level panel slid open and a female voice asked what he wanted.

"I want to get screwed," said Bob.

"OK, mister, but this is a private club, so slip $20, as an initiation fee, through the mail slot," answered the voice. Bob put the money in the mail slot, the panel was closed, minutes passed. Nothing happened. He began to pound on the door insistently, and the panel slid open.

"Hey," exclaimed Bob, "I want to get screwed!"

"What," said the female voice, "again?"

3.

A man was sitting on a beach. He had no arms and no legs.

Three women, a blonde, a brunette and a redhead, were walking past and felt sorry for the poor man.

The first woman, the brunette, walked over to the man and said "Have you ever had a hug?"

The man said "No.", so she gave him a hug and walked on.

Next, the redhead went to him and asked "Have you ever had a kiss?"

The man said "No.", so she gave him a kiss and walked on.

Last, the blonde came to him and said "Have you ever been screwed?

The fellow excitedly said "No, I haven't!".

She said "Well, I think you will be when the tide comes in."

All stolen from Here

Posted by BillyBudd at August 21, 2005 04:59 PM | TrackBack